The Official Writing Challenge
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I enjoyed this funny story. Your character's voice was perfect for her age. I can sympathize with her annoyance over those new bottles--they are a challenge to squeeze just right!
Excellent...very funny...this is a winner to me
This is so cute!

I was a bit confused on how old the MC was supposed to be... Not knowing the correct pronunciation of words like "digress" and "connoisseur" didn't fit with the rest of the writing, to me. The other writing was too advanced to not know those words. But that may just be me.

Loved the rant on ketchup and the alternate spelling at the beginning.
Very cleverly done... a real hoot! New bottles? I hadn't heard. Hopefully, by the time I get back to the States, others will have sent articles like yours to the manufacturers so I won't ever have to experience this frustration first-hand. Reading about it was enough for me, really. Thanks for the laughs to start my day.