The Official Writing Challenge
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Nicely told, nicely written. Good job, I enjoyed this. God Bless~
Excellent story and excellent job showing both negative and positive commitment. While Derek was indeed uncommited to God, he was committed to his lifestyle too, but what pitiful choices to commit ones life to. I really enjoyed this. Terrific job!
Your story has a lot of surface telling. Wish it had more descriptive wording rather than merely telling a story. I like the final wording about "where is your committment?" and the MC using his Bible to explain.
The parable of the uncommitted man spoke loudly to the loneliness of noncommittment. It is nice that there are committed friends to hold out hope for others.

Good Writing!!
very compelling take on the subject; shows (rather than tells) the importance of WHAT one is actually committed to. The beginning draws reader in immediately and the story moves along at a nice pace with no extraneous words. I love the punchy end.