The Official Writing Challenge
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I suspected a BIT near the beginning that the MC was not human - but it was still delightful. Got a bit lost in the dialect (maybe a touch too strong - though it could be me), but enjoyed this piece.
I was slow at figuring out the MC's identity. I thought the 'rather larger ears' made him sound like a freak, but ... some people do have them! I really enjoyed this!
I like how you show that God accepts everyone's contribution as significant and that all is under His control.
I so enjoy the nice twist at the end. I did have a hard time getting through the dialect. I found I had to read some sentences over. But I still felt the suspense and found myself holding my own breath at times.
It definitely took me a while to figure out the identity of "Keane"... but then I re-read it and realized that "Little Mouse" was literal! Good job of creating suspense. I love mysteries, and this had the feel of one (if Hercule Poirot had been a mouse :). Enjoyed it!