The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You've used a fascinating poetic form. Is it some form of a villanelle? You have beautifully worded phrases and your story is haunting.
I love the way you used the words and phrases to "quicken" the innate pace on the italicized lines. It gave her thoughts a different voice than her narration, and it gave an excitement to those lines. It took several readings for me to understand what was happening, who the characters were, and who was talking, but I didn't mind re-reading, the energy of this piece was so strong!
You're talented on many levels. I loved this profound poem.
It is not often we get to read an account that so openly expresses what profoundly changes a man's heart. A life-changing moment - bold and tender. Revealing in its conflict and enlightening to read. Well done.
Very crafty and well put. I enjoyed reading this.
Wow... there are layers of meaning here, symbolism woven into story. I'm going to go back and re-read it a time or two! Beautiful, meaningful, masterful... and very well done!
Wow. What a gripping image potrayed in this tale!
So much emotion, so much said in these stanzas. This is haunting and powerful.
Really nice! I love the depth, the intensity and emotion in this piece. The italics were excellently done. ^_^
Just blows me away! I can hardly comment for the tears. Stellar piece. I thought of Elisabeth Elliot. Sir William, you left me speechless.

This gave me chills and I don't think I am seeing half of what's here...even after 3 readings.
Love the tone of this...almost like a trumpet sound. That's what I hear.

Wow! Fantastic work.
Clarification! It is not confusing...It is rich and deep...and me? maybe not so much. :P

Gorgeous writing, Sir.
Gripping, compelling, sad, full of raw emotions--I could go on but I'll finish with--great work!