The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Wow - beautiful writing... reads like a novel.
What a great lesson on background, creating mood, atmosphere, so that when the words come, and the final moments trap you, you are happy to be caught up in it.
Everyday a lesson. glad I found it here.
Fascinating descriptions. I got a little bogged down in a few paragraphs, but the setting was amazing.
I am in awe. This is very American Gothic with a twist. The atmosphere and imagery in the descriptions of the house are superb, and the subtle intimacy of Delores and Anne's brief exchange is in perfect tone with the rest of this piece. Remarkable writing.
The minute descriptions and characterization are spellbinding....would love to read a novel written in this atmosphere...brought to mind the writing of Charles Martin.
Very evocative and atmospheric. Great story and writing. I had a little trouble with some punctuation tripping me up, but it didn't ruin the tale. Thanks!
tasty writing- a good tooth-sinker :) and, having been to Topeka, KS, an accurate representation of the area. I agree with the "reads like a novel" comment. the only red pen type thing I have to offer is for point of view- because in the one piece we're inside the character of the house (it felt like to me) and the mother and then back outside of it all again (narrator?)-- but in all, a really, really well told story.
What a read! Just beautiful. It was so evocative I truly did not notice POV changes.
Glad that I could put a name with this writing. It was one of my favorites when reading through the "Master's level. Then I recently got your generous comments and also went back to read some of your splendid winning entries. "Inseparable vines." etc.

I can be an impatient reader, but you slowed me down to a crawl, and it was good to relax and take it in.