The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Loved the suspense in this...I want more! This has so much potential for a full blown mystery/adventure/terror story.
Your story illustrates beautifully the difference in attitude that music and worship can bring. I love it.
Oops...this is for the next one. My computer's playing tricks on me.

"Watching with Shomer" is an awesome story, masterfully written. The foreshadowing helps to make the message stronger.
Very good job building suspense and intrigue and a good lesson as to whom and when we should trust. It seems we can never be too careful and always on "watch"
Exceptionally well-written. You were able to get a lot in this word count.
The action was just right and the suspense well-timed.
Very interesting on several levels.
What a good lesson. You did a great job tying everything together. I liked how you incorporated the translation of the names. Good job.
Wow,very interesting. I'd love to read more!
I smiled at your "bored-of-your-worrying feeling." :) Your ending twist was good! I enjoyed this!
Hum... I'd say Terach only has job security because he owns Shomer...:) I enjoyed this intriguing story, and I would love to read a longer allegory involving these characters!