The Official Writing Challenge
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This sounds exactly like something a kid would question and try. :) (my Dad tried it with kernels of corn and a pigeon) The contrast between those NOT listening is dramatic. My heart went out to the boy AND the hamster. Your ending/touch of humor made me smile!
I love your writing from the perspective of the little boy. I felt like I was in his head, feeling his thoughts, and his interpretations of life. Superbly written. Well done!
The boy's thoughts are like a soliloquy, at once both genuine and amusing. Your title helps to add depth to the underlying message of this finely written piece.
You've captured exactly the right tone and dialogue for a little boy and painted for the reader a picture of the sadness in his family.--This is an extraodinarily well written story.
I love your writing style. This is extremely well done.
Thought-provoking and very real. Excellent pov.
This is now one of my favorite FW stories ever. The undeniable humor in the MC's voice creates perfect bookends to what is at its core, a sad, authentic story. The contrast is literary genius. Phenomenal writing.
Amazing writing! I was especially touched by the paragraph, "I looked for the glass on the carpet,..."
Superb. And sad. Wow.
What an entertaining little fellow! And I found the honesty about his mother's reactions like a window into her life!
Excellent writing. You told the story of the little boy, and his family life with eloquence. One of my favorites this week. Oh, I love the title and how it fits into the story.
You have beautifully opened us up to explore a child's responses to how our world gets itself in its mess. Very insightful story.
Inspired writing, for sure, with authentic feel. Your gift for writing is evident.
This is gut-wrenching. You nailed the child's voice and the mother's emotions. The title is perfect. What an amazing piece!
Great voice. Loved your mc. Your title is precious and the dialogue amazing. (I love oreos, too) I think this is another winner.
Wow... I'm in absolute awe of this. The depth is remarkable. How terrible and tragic for a child to be caught between adults this way--not really comprehending, unable to express himself properly, or even be heard. Very, very well done!
I will be looking for this in Editor's Choice this week.
This is incredible writing. To blend humor and sadness so flawlessly is a true gift. The dialogue was very believable. And the last line is priceless.
Fabulous writing! I like the voice and the plot. It shows how a boy did what he did because he did not get an answer from his Dad to the question, "how much can a hamster eat before his belly explodes? It's like cause and effect, a story anchored on an adult's failure to listen and the consequence that takes place as a result. Sadly, right to the end of the story the adult still did not realize the one who needs to listen is him, not the child. Turning a deaf ear is the consequence when such things prolong to become a norm.
This is one of the most beautiful, insightful pieces I have seen on FW. You KNOW boys, you can read them like a book, and FEEL their emotions. If this doesn't win, I will truly be surprised! Absolutely marvelous writing. This is going on my favorites for sure and from this point on I am tracking your writings, my friend! WOW!
Woo Hoo! Happy Dancin' with you! Told you so!
Congratulations Lisa. This is just wonderful. Amore than well deserved win.
Congrats, Lisa, 1st place Editor's Choice! You are amazing! Will you be using more animals in your writing now? :)
Way to go, Lisa!
Awww, I thought I might be the first to congratulate you! Ah well, amazing job and a huge congratulations!!!!
This is so nice to see. Congratulations on placing with this wonderful piece : )
Congratulations on your placing first in Editors' Choice and Masters! (",)
Congrats! Very proud of you.
Absolutely awesome accomplishment!!! I knew when I read this it was a winner! Congratulations, Lisa!
Lisa Lisa Lisa!

You inspire us all with your writing
Believable character. Great story!

I thank the lord for you.
Thunderous applause, Lisa!! This was my favorite of the week, and I love to have my good judgment validated!:) Awesome, moving writing--congratulations.
I love how the MC seems to be aware of the things going on in his life, yet caught up in simple boy wonderment still. Not so sure I want any oreos anytime soon, though.

Congrats, Lisa...get to work. ;) (I can be so relentless sometimes)
Big congrats to my Hui. LOVE this piece. So glad, but definitely not surprised, to see this at this top of the list. :)
Congratulations Lisa. Great job.
I knew it, I knew it! Congratulations. This is definitely a favorite of mine.
What a delightful story. Congratulations on a well-deserved win.
That has to be one of the funniest stories I have ever read. I could barely read it to my wife because I was laughing so hard! Excellent, definitely a deserved number ONE EC!!!!
Lisa, I'm thrilled to see this one win! I agree that you know boys. I love the stream of conciousness narration and childlike curiosity. The last lines cinched this story. Wonderful! Congratulations!
So I decided I have to read at least this one. Hilarious! I can see my 9 year old as this boy. I'll hide the oreos and NO hamsters. NOT any time soon anyway.
Oh, and Congratulations on a well-deserved win!
Congratulations on your EC first place win! It's truly a masterpiece.
Great job! An awesome read.
Wow!! I could go on for ages but Wow is the dominant expression -still is as I sit here thinking of the composition of your story.Congratulations
You have captured this little boy with such heart. His curiosity and innocence come forth powerfully. Congratulations and thank you for this piece.
I don't know how you did it but you made eating Oreos a sad thing - I did not think that could ever be the case :-) I'm not sure what I can say that others haven't already said. This was awesome! Beginning to end. My heart still hurts for the little boy.
Oh Lisa... I was just struck by this one. Maybe you weren't trying to, but it tore my heart nearly right out. I giggled in many parts, could really hear this boy and could almost see him. But the back story, the interactions, the EMOTION was just... raw. Thank you. Thank you for letting me see into the heart and mind of a boy who could be just like my own sons. ('cept for the whole hamster thing, ours is a guinea pig ;o)
So many layers of Wonderful.
Just an awesome piece of writing.

(way late to the party) Congratulations, Lisa. :)
I'm so proud of you! :)