The Official Writing Challenge
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This is splendid in every way. Powerfully written to wring every emotion from the eager reader.
Here's an EC.

This grabbed me from the first sentence and held my interest to the last. Because of your descriptive phrases and choice of words, it was easy to picture the scenes in this story. Great job of bring words to life.
Wow! You hooked me right in and kept me throughout. Great command of the English language.
Right until the end, I didn't quite know what that ominous, low humming was as I read this--it seemed the story was trying to give me a sense of foreboding, but what? And why? So, your ending caught me by surprise and filled in all the questions beautifully. Well-written and well-described!
Excellent piece. The mystery introduced at the beginning slowly built up until the abandonment was revealed, and the last bit was a tremedous closure.