The Official Writing Challenge
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Good title for the theme of this piece. It reminds me as well, of the adage of the hammer cloaked in velvet. I was rooting for your MC to make the right choice from the very beginning. I'm left wondering if he heeded the still small voice her heard at the end.
Guess we're supposed to wonder....? A good picture of the fruits of giving in to "just a little temptation." Very well written.
This is dark, per the topic. It actually felt quite eerie, and I didn't want to keep reading because it brought to mind some difficult times from my past. All that to say, the mood you set is excellent, and the writing is top notch.
This is a compelling allegory, that sadly is all to true. Very nicely written.
Sad how easily we can be decieved, isn't it? Well written piece.
You conjured up an eerie mood; I almost didn't want to read to the end, but I couldn't help myself. Excellent imagery, and perfect ending, because it leaves us to complete the story ourselves, making our own choice between good and evil.
Excellent analogy of the wages of sin. Top notch writing on topic and perfect title.
Very well written with just the right amount of suspense. It reads like a parable to me...leaving the ending open.
Great entry and right on topic.

This is over the top creative. Your muse must have been working overtime. I enjoyed reading this well written piece.
There's something a little eerie and surreal about this story, though I think I recognize it from one or more of the proverbs. Definitely a good fit for the topic. Great title and message at the end.
WOW. This is superbly written and gripping to the very end. Great reminder of what happens when we hide God's Word in our hearts. Now hopefully he responded appropriately.
What a compelling story! You painted a very vivid allegory of temptation and where it leads: reality and science fiction/fantasy mingled. Good job!
Myrna, I'm going to feature this piece on the Front Page Showcase for the week of February 15. Look for it on the FaithWriters Home page--and congratulations!