The Official Writing Challenge
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Definitely a somber piece yet your words shine through the gloom. Your title very appropriate for the theme. I especially liked this line:
"invisible grieving of the heart yet
Illuminated in twin beams." Very visual.
good imagery. tight reading, no extra words. i felt like it ended too quickly, though. two stanzas to set up, one to reveal and one to finish. i think another transition stanza between middle and end may have been better. great read though. definitely touches the heart and imagination.
Novel descriptions. My favorite line was the one Loren mentioned. Beautiful visual!
Oh, how I loved this one! Perfect in every way.