The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is a fun piece.

You asked for red ink, but I'm having trouble finding much to ink here. The playful banter between the couple is well done.

I like it.
Smooth, clean writing style. Non-contraversial, so no high/low of emotions. Pleasant to read and very true-to-life slice.

Really good job on your descriptions. Getting a tan almost seems "wrong" nowadays, but I still love being out in it, wrong or not. I enjoyed this piece a lot.
Ditto made me want to run for the seaside. Give me that sun between my tows. Of course I can just step outside and feel the tropical sun beating down on me and our yard is a sandy clay so that almost counts. But we're a long, long way from the surf!
I really liked the tease of romance right at the end. Speaking as a man, I wonder if your male character shouldn't have a bit more 'sauce' with his goose - the beach does tend to have that effect on men.
I enjoyed this even more than if I actually went to the beach. Of course, I am also a "Ghostly white shade seeker". Thanks for the sun.
Fun banter between the couple. Enjoyable read. Nice job!
True to life, and great fun to read. And why does God put opposites together??
This is such a sweet, true-to-life story. (It actually made me think of my little boy, a pale redhead whose ears get red after about two minutes outside...) A well done tale of "opposites attract"!
As someone who burns to a crisp in 20 minutes, I could totally relate. I enjoyed the interaction between these two and their playfulness- nice job.
Very well done. I love the playfulness between the two. You had me smiling throughout.
This was a fun read...very enjoyable. Well done!
I really enjoyed enjoyed this piece with its descriptive word choices and authentic-sounding dialogue! Alas, I can empathize with Tom, as I love the beach, too, but my fair skin burns in minutes! Great writing! :)
Ouch - sun burnt TOES??? Being a shade-lover myself, I must say that I have never experienced that particular pleasure. But you described it nicely - I mean painfully, but nicely. Totally enjoyed the easy, familiar dialogue. And the ending was great!
So, so believable! Great job with the story and the dialogue and the not so subtle innuendo at the end was perfect! Hard not to like those tan lines!
This is a real cutey. I loved the characters and their romantic playfulness. No red ink from me, Catrina.
This is awful err...awfully good. No, I mean rotten err..rotten to have to compete against writers as good as you. You have got your prize early.


Congratulation on making the big list. What a great little story. Enjoyed it all.
Great title. Neat slice of life story. I wondered about the first paragraph. As a hook Josh! Honey, your toes. is a far more compelling start. Dialogue works well and the couple's fun loving relationship is clearly portrayed. :-)