The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
04/23/09
Wow, what an awesome story! It goes to show what we can do with simple beginnings and a lot of heart. Loved this!
04/23/09
Wonderful story. Thanks for sharing.
04/24/09
Great story. Could it be based on a recent newspaper/online story about a little boy who needs $60,000 more to remove a tumor from his face, and give him a smile? Pass on the idea—maybe it will work for him too! Well done.
04/28/09
Wonderful fund-raising idea!

I think the past tense would work better for this piece that takes place over several days. Present tense seems to work better for shorter, more introspective stories (but that might be just me).

A very compelling read.
04/28/09
I've got tears in my ears just reading this...beautiful story!
04/30/09
Excellent story to illustrate our "Beginning and End" topic! Very inspiring! :)
04/30/09
I was also thinking the same thing about the tense (but I'm not nearly as knowlegable as of most you). HOWEVER, this was still a great story from beginning to end and I don't think the "tense" thing takes away one bit from the story at all. It was entertaining and a delight to read.
I think this works very well, reading almost like a journal or documentary. My eyes were moist, too.