The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1513 times
Member Comments
What an awesome love story - two-in-one even:) Very good writing! Loved it!
What a sweet story. Makes me all mushy inside;)Loved it!
Great story and some great lessons here about judging others, too.
Nice story.

I ADORE the opening line. Very clever and excellent, excellent "setting the scene" and showing character.

I like Sean. :) I sorta think I am in love with him, actually. :-D

"Sean loped toward me with two sandwiches" I just love that line! .. It is so in keeping with the way you've characterized him.

Personally though, I wouldn't have said he is handsome or drop dead grogeous. That's cliche. Let his inner gorgeous-ness speak for itself. :)

Question. Just a nit-picky. Why would she bring her bible on the trek if she was trying to get away from herself and God?
Instead, why not have her going on the trek because she wanted to reignite her love for God? That would line up better with her determination to put God first and foremost.

Just a thought. Just my opinion.

Thanks for sharing. :)
Swoon Swoon. ;)
Love the double love story. Nicely done!
One of my favorites--You have a gifted pen.
Love the double meaning in your title!
Very natural and interesting. Easy to follow and identify with the characters. Flows well. I enjoyed!
A love story! I love love stories and especially so on this gloomy day. Very sweet character in that man...she'd be a silly gal to pass him up!
I hope you don't mind me commenting again but I feel sort of invested in this story! :P

Why Irishman? There is nothing that actually [i]shows[/i] him to be an Irishman, so it feels like a tag on ... and readers stumble at tag ons.(sometimes enough to stop reading)

You [b]tell[/b] us he's Irish, and you [b]tell[/b] us about his lilting accent but it doesn't come across because you don't [b]show[/b] it in the rest of the piece, in his speech, mannerisms, etc. I think we as writers have to be careful about throwing out specifics like that if we are not prepared to flesh them out. Just a thought. :)

Can I say again how much I love the way you set this up? Just *GREAT* writing. So enjoyable and memorable and fun. Thank you!
And here I thought I was being so clever with my italics and bolding. Groooan.
Excellent writing. I'm sure that many could see this as the setting for a Hallmark channel love story!! Great Job!
Oh yeah, sometimes we're so busy wavin' our Bibles around that we don't even recognize the love of God flowing through his children. Great story. Been there!
Congratulations on your Editor's Choice! Creative and well-written.
Beautifully written. Some powerful emotions going on, and your under-stating them makes them even more powerful. The setting is not mine the story could be. I've also loved an Irishman for the last 20 years and was drawn to him and closer to Jesus in one big rolled up seismic life change! Great writing and congratulations on a well-deserved EC.