The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1385 times
Member Comments
So much going on here! I could see all that busyness and had to smile at Leah wondering who checked Mother's hair for wayward suds. Cute! I liked the ending with "The House sighed" Lovely! ^_^
I like your title in relation to this story. The scene, as you unfold it, is lovely to watch. Very well done.
I absolutely loved this...
It was vividly subtle; rich with emotion without overt sweetness. So very good...I think I will go read it again.
Richly descriptive with wonderful characterization and sense of place. Beautiful.
Your description here is so real that it was like I was seeing a movie. You did a wonderful job of this slice of an earlier time. I love how you showed your title.
I'm not exactly sure why, but this made me think of "Little Women." It's charming, and you painted a wonderful, homey scene. Well done.
Oh, I love your descriptions. It was so easy to be in the middle of the scene.

I got a little confused with all the girl's names--but I realized by the end that it was supposed to be that way. All the names made the busyness of the household more apparent.

Very nice job with the topic.
Excellent job taking us back to another time when motherhood meant so much more work. I enjoyed Leah's respect for her mother coming through as if she realized it for herself for the first time.
This is a beautiful story and I love the way you wrote it. Great writing.
What a sweet and refreshing slice of life. Warmly and convincingly written. I wish I were more like Leah's mother.
This was like looking through a hole in time to watch a family of days gone by, perhaps nineteenth century? using the 'community' bathtub.
What a beautiful little moment! I especially loved they were evasive as eels, sturdy as calves, and the mother laying a hand of benediction on the baby's head. Stunning.
Awww, this was sweet. I enjoyed all the details and the relationships.
What wonderful descriptions here. It felt like being right in the middle of that busy household. Oh, your descriptions "slippery fish, now drowsy puppies"...such imagery. A delightful trek back into another era. Great writing!
I sighed too. I felt left out. What a fine attitude this one woman has. Your descriptions are incredible, especially loved this "I dried their wriggling, plump bodies; they were evasive as eels, sturdy as calves."
Your mastery of words and descriptions shines in this story. I could see everything, even though there was a lot going on. This was a beautiful read. Thank you for sharing it.
You have a master's touch for freezing a moment in time so beautifully. Your words simply transform themselves into vivid scenes that touch a person's core.