The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Good voice, good lesson, and Tommy deserves the prize. Nice work.
Oooh, this is good! I kinda wish there was more so I could see what would happen to all the nieces and nephews when Tommy 'won'. I was hoping that Lawrence would pick him, he was the only one in the few sentences that seemed to really 'care'. Good job! ^_^
What a great piece! This happens all too often in the lives of older people. Nobody pays attention until they think they're going to get something out of the deal. If only we would all make time for our relatives . . . if only we could all be as selfless as Tommy.
Very engaging read, and yes, I thought Tommy was going to be the one to get noticed. He was the only one who genuinely cared.
This is very sad but so true. Very nice writing.
Oooh, good one! You got the old man's voice perfectly--a little bit bitter, a little bit sad, a lot ironic.

If anything, I might have dropped one niece or nephew, and developed Tommy just a tad.

This is soooo strong in personality and characterization, and it was a great read! A change of pace which I really enjoyed.
You hooked me with the letter and the paragraph afterward. LOL. Terrific voice for Larry, uh Lawrence. ;-)
I agree, tell him to get a good attorney and leave it all to Tommy. Absolutely nothing beats or can obscure the sincerity of one's heart. Really enjoyed this!
Good read from beginning to end. The first person voice worked very well. Strong charaterization. Have you thought about taking this further? There are enough interesting characters and lots of possible scenarios to turn this into a book.
This was so good on so many levels. Loved it.
We need more Tommy's in the world. I'm glad Lawrence had one.
What a sad commentary on our society. I expected the turn out and was pleased that Tommy, who has the heart of a true servant, will be rewarded. Even if Lawrence doesn't go first, Tommy will have his reward in heaven.
I'd like to be at the reading of the will,,,,maybe for another challenge???!?
What a cast of characters. Poor Uncle Lawrence-I'm glad he had one friend and Tommy deserves his reward!
Oh, good one!! That's EXACTLY what people want--ALL people!! Great reminder wrapped in a great story. I loved the voice!!
Ah HA! I knew it would be Tommy. He offered what the old man wanted. I love your MC, and how he keeps backing up. Great characterization. and great writing!
Awesome voice - and an absolutely wonderful piece with a great message. Love this man - AND Tommy!
WOW! So glad this one made it! Congrats on your well-deserved EC! ^_^ Awesome writing!
Congrats on your EC!
Congratulations, Sheri!!
Congratulations what a great story. Enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing.
Shari - Congratulations on placing with this piece, it showed great depth and feeling. It's nice sharing the EC with such talent, too : ) Loren
Very good writing and a great lesson. We NEED to make time for the elderly - especially if they are family. Congratulations on a well deserved win.
Congratulations, Sheri. I enjoyed this story.
Yeah! I told you!!! You're doing great this quarter!