Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Gifts (of the Spirit or service) (11/22/07)
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TITLE: Five For One | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kristen Hester
11/28/07 -
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Evan’s friends agreed. "Yes," said Helen Helper quietly, "They need to know." She looked shyly around the room. Her face turned red at the thought of speaking to a stranger, but the thought of approaching someone about Jesus caused sweat balls to form on her upper lip.
"But who?" asked Terry Teacher as she adjusted her glasses and picked at her apple muffin.
"And how? Do you have a plan?" inquired Adam Administrator. He pulled out his blackberry and began making notes.
Pauline Prayer said nothing. She just bowed her head and started praying.
Evan was confused by his friends’ questions. "No, I don’t have a plan. I don’t need a plan. I just tell them. This isn’t rocket science." Evan glanced apologetically at Pauline, who was majoring in aerospace engineering. "No offense."
Pauline smiled sweetly. "None taken."
"I saw a lot of people on the corner of Main Street and M.L.K. I’m going there to tell people about Jesus."
"Right Now?" Terry asked.
"Without a plan?" Adam wanted to know.
"All alone?" asked Helen.
"You’re welcome to join me, but no one is getting saved while we sit here sipping lattes." The burley Evan pushed up his sleeves, grabbed his Bible and headed toward the door, leaving his four friends sitting at the table with their mouths hanging open.
"Well, I’ll be..." said Helen as she stared at the closed door.
"He needs a plan," said Adam, mostly to himself.
"The people who accept Christ will need to be taught," thought Terry.
"Please join me in prayer," said Pauline as she reached out for the hands of the friends on either side of her.
An hour later Evan returned.
"How did it go?" his friends eagerly asked.
"Excellent! Oh, sure, I got my share of rejection, but I met some people who are interested in hearing more about Jesus."
"That’s wonderful," said Helen.
"Did you get their names and phone numbers so you can stay in touch with them?" asked Adam.
Evan patted his pockets at the question. "I’ve got it somewhere." Finally he found a small scrap of paper with barely legible names and numbers scribbled across it.
Adam shook his head as he took the torn paper from Evan and started entering the information into his blackberry.
Over the next weeks Evan continued telling people about Jesus wherever he went. Hardly a day went by that he didn’t hand Adam a piece of paper or a napkin with a name and phone number on it. One day over coffee Terry presented the group with an idea. "I’d like to lead a Bible study and invite the people on Evan’s list."
"What a wonderful idea," said Evan.
Terry got the list from Adam. Adam made arrangements for a classroom and designed fliers to advertise the Bible study. Helen made copies of the fliers and distributed them to different college hang-outs. Terry prepared her lesson. Pauline prayed and fasted as the date of the Bible study approached.
The first meeting the friends were thrilled by the crowd that joined them in the classroom. There were so many people, their weren’t enough seats. Helen ran out of the room to find more chairs. Adam made a list of things that needed to be done before the next class. Evan was excited to see many of his new friends. Seeing the crowed made him even more eager to tell others about Jesus.
Terry presented a beautiful lesson. The group took notes, asked questions and had a wonderful time learning about Christ. As the crowd mingled after the meeting a young co-ed told Terry how much she enjoyed her lesson.
"You are a gifted teacher. This has been a wonderful evening."
Terry glanced around the room at her friends. Helen was cleaning up. Adam was punching information into his blackberry. Pauline was in the corner praying with someone. Evan was sharing the gospel with a young man. "Thank you, but this was a group effort."
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Laury
This was a fun read. Well done.
Here's an example, 'Pauline Prayer said nothing. She just> bowed her head and started praying.' The word 'just' implicates something negative to me.
This story is pure genius as is and I have no clue how you could go back to do subtle tweaks and still maintain the "Whole body working together" message.
This whole story is masterfully put together. A pleasure to read.
Overall, the entry seemed a lil rushed, like it didn't command or hold your entire attention. Your opening was somewhat weak, didn't hook me, was a lil confusing and didn't flow with your usual ease. After the opening it would have been hard to keep reading if I didn't know who the author was. I knew it would turn into a creative gem, which it did. You also get high points for having a creative concept.
But most importantly, your story needed to have been entered this week. It had an important message. And the overall collection of work this week, would not have been complete without it. You're one of my favs and I always look forward to your entries. I wish I could write as smoothly as you do, but I have to work with what I have.
Great job, Kristen. God bless.
"'Without a plan?' Adam wanted to know."
I think that's what stops me many times. I'm so busy trying to make the plan, that I miss the opportunity.
I really like the way you show how each of us have different gifts, and they all work together to further God's kingdom. Great job.
Congrats on your EC win! And as you asked for them, here's some 'red pen' comments. I found this article to contain an excellent and important message that the gifts function best when combined through group efforts. They compliment one another. However, I found that the characters' names broke the story's flow. It was evident what their gifts were by the actions they were performing, they did not need their gift to be part of their name as well. Loved the conclusion.