The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 2075 times
Member Comments
A neat story, with an ending that made me smile!
Cute story, and how I LOVE a happy ending...
Sometimes "naughty" is good? Oh, I LOVED it! Great job my friend!
Interesting method of "persuasion." Great story.
Love the twist at the end. I sure didn't see it coming. Nicely written. Kudos, my friend.
Oh good grief, this is probably the best ending EVER!

Did you really mean "sloughed" in an early paragraph? Maybe "slouched" would be better? (Unless, of course, Hank is shedding skin as he goes...)

This story is utterly and truly delightful.
Very cute story. Good thing this dad was basically good natured. I'm not sure the boy's course of action would fly with most fathers. I have to admit, it was creative, though.
Oh, I just want to give Jeremy a big hug. How adorable is he? This was great!
Love the dad's prayer in the context of the story. Lots of nice visual words: grimaced, bounced, lumbered. The ending is great.

One thing I wonder - "Jeremy exited and lumbered toward the church, his head down. Hank saw his son pause directly behind the car, as if he was considering coming back. He continued on after a minute or so." - This might be a little clearer on what path he took and how long he stayed, just for the visualization. Or it might just be me. ;-)

Cute. I guess he really wanted his dad to come. ^_^ Loved the ending. Good twist.
You had me engaged form beginning to end. Cute surprise ending!
Loved the ending - Well done!
What a classic, creative, entertaining, memorable, masterful ending. I loved it. Very, very good. God bless.
You really made us see Jeremy and his dad. Great job. Let me see, doesn't that verse say, "And a little child shall flatten their dad's tire"?
I always enjoy your entries...your reader can depend on a entertaining piece and great message.
Loved it. You described the characters very well. Very realistic. And, as noted many times, the chuckle-provoking twist at the end was perfect. Excellent.
Ooh! I think I know Jeremy's secret!

This was fun to read and right on the money as far as many adults' responses about Sunday school. I used to do it that way myself years ago.

That was a great ending, and it wasn't until now that I realized why Jeremy stopped behind the car before going in. Cute.
I was looking more for a "Touched by an Angel" ending to this story, instead you gave me devilish real-life, wonderful one instead. I truly enjoyed this piece!
Very creative -- as always. Your writing is so easy to read -- the descriptions put the reader right in the scene. Another good entry.
Well, that's one way to get someone to attend Sunday School! I wonder if I should try it...Well done.
I LOVED this, Jo!! I could see it every step of the way, and hear it. I loved the dad's prayer, too--just wish I knew why that tire went flat!! Congrats, friend! Hugs!!! :-)
Congratulations on your EC. This was another entertaining entry from you. Good job.
Congrats on your win!! This was a delightful story - good dialogue and loved the ending!!
Great story and message. The characters were wonderful.
I love the line, "Good thing he asked me to pray here. I mighta run him over."
Congratulations on the EC!
How did I miss this one? What a great story and what a conniving little boy! Congratulations on your 4th place E.C. Very well deserved!
Told you it was awesome. :) Congrats, my friend, God is taking you places with your writing.
Nice story! Congrats on another EC!
What a wonderful story and it was well written to boot!
God bless!