The Official Writing Challenge
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This was very cleverly done. I kept hoping that Jack would "get it". Proper names for all of the other characters made it seem as if he actually knew all of these people, but it also made them seem more real. Great job keeping the interest of this reader.
I don't understand why you don't like this. I think it's wonderful, and conveys a great message. You painted your main character as an arrogant narcissist. I hope he "gets it" before it's too late. Very well done.
I also liked this. I liked the idea of him getting the "message" in little bits all throughout the day. I too hope he "gets it" before it's too late. Great job.
Good writing! I could see the negative influence left by Jack. I, too, hope he "gets it" someday. But many people never do. Wonderful article.
A SUPER sermon on humility, kindness, patience, tolerance, unselfishness and good deeds packed into this delightful, entertaining and educational story entitled "A Day At The Gym". Sermons should always be this enjoyably blunt, forward and to the point...without being boring! Loved it! Great Job!
What a lesson! You painted him so real I felt like getting in his face and letting him know just how he was acting!! Good job!
What don't you like about it? I found it hard-hitting and exceptionally well-written. I'm glad your MC didn't "get it."
This is masterfully structured, and masterfully written. Absolutely superb.
I like that he didn't get it. Even though he should have, it was more a message for the reader to "get" through his example. Good, realistic situations also. Great writing!
Wow. This is pretty neat. I can't begin to compare where I feel like that sometimes and where I run into someone just like that. I liked how you blended the bold words, (actions, influence, etc) into the storyline. Great job with the feelings/emotions that kept me riveted all the way through. ^_^
Thanks alot, Tim. I needed to meet this guy....AGAIN! Your story read very easily. It was very creative. It got the message across without preaching or hitting us over the head with it. Understated....yet powerful. Great job!
What a fantastic way of using a subliminal message. The dialogue and the days events were very believable. Great job.
Tres bien ... tres tres bien! :-)