The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow! I was transported to another world and immersed in a native culture by your words. I think this is a unique and amazing offering. Love it.
I was struck by Maysol's zeal and fervor to learn the Zetec language and how it took years of sacrifice and diligence to follow through on his goal. It is a beautiful picture of how God loves us sacrificially and will work with us until we understand who He is; in essence, He speaks to us in our own "language" too. Nice work.
And I found it hard just accepting God's gift of tongues! Really enjoyed reading this. Thank you.
Crista, this is very good! On the first read, I found the early part perhaps a tad tedious, as I suspected the meat of the story was coming, and I wanted to know what you were getting at. But now that I DO know--and I was very moved, especially by the translation of "yoke"--I think the earlier stage-setting is vital to your story. You set the stage for your reader just as Maysol had to establish himself in his new culture. This is an awesome piece of work.
Crista, this is absolutely engaging and moving. Your descriptions were so vivid and real - I was truly right there. You moved me in a very deep way.
Excellent description. I was right there in the jungle and village with Maysol.
Your title is fitting for the piece. Nice job.
Very vivid and well written. A great read.
Excellent! Very vivid descriptions!
'With a lighter pack and renewed strength, Maysol sets his face toward the north. He estimates another days journey to the village.'

'Three days later, Maysol reaches the river. The beating of drums calls from from the canyon, but he cannot go on. Shaking with hunger, Maysol falls to the ground.'

Christa - this threw me just a little at first. Maybe a few words of a lead in to prepare the reader that one turned into three.

And I only mention this because it is so awesome and I hope you can use this somewhere to get this vital message out.

I love the insights all languages bring to God's Word - it's facinating and you've done a fantastic job here of atmosphere, dialogue, scenery ... just everything - especially what insight this language brings to its own people.

I really loved this. ;)
And I felt sorry for you cos you said you had no comments, and now look at you - you have more than me!!
Maysol - I tittered a bit at his name, cos it made me think of a floor cleaner :)but the writing was excellent, as was the story content.
Since I am currently training to be an interpreter, this story hit home. Well done!
This is very descriptive, helping me to feel like I was right there with Maysol.

There were so many word pictures that were exquisitely wrought that I can't mention them all. A few of my favorites: "The mosquitoes swarm away, a gray cloud chasing the treetops." "The flames dance to the music of crackling kindling, as sparks chase graceful plumes of smoke."

How beautiful are the feet of these translators who bring the Word of the Lord to those who have never heard. Wonderful!
A great story about a dedicated worker for his Lord and Master..teaching others. Nice job.
This is so rich with really brought me there and led me right into Maysol's sacrifice with him. Wonderful!