The Official Writing Challenge
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I liked the double meaning throughout the story. Your message is a good one and really comes through. You knew how to save themwhy didnt you? Although this was a somber piece I still had to smile at the meaning behind: its a bummer going to all those refresher courses. A very clever and creative piece. Nicely done!
Excellent, excellent piece. Love the cut, love the subtlety, love the voices, loved the last few words. Perfection, as far as I'm concerned. I know who you are!
Great job!!! Powerful message done in a very unique way. Loved it!!!!
Wonderful allegory - cleverly done. Loved the name choices.

nitpik: I'd cut the last line, ending with the policeman's final words.
Exceptionally poignant allegory, and a great story even without it! I think everyone, if they look hard enough, will see themselves in this somewhere. I know I did!
Lots of "ouch!" value here. Great message well written.
I have to agree with all of the above comments and the nitpik. Dude, this is a masterpiece!
I love the way Lance talks. Clever names. Excellent message. Well done!
Excellent story that could be used as a "sermonette". I love it! Masterfully created! :)
"I mean, if I swam out there every time someone was in a little bit of trouble, I might offend em, see? I dont want em to think Im judging their swimming ability or anything." Yeah, ouch! Personally, I liked the last line - emphasized the point that while he defended himself, those people died. Great job.
Oh - a great lesson - hopefully people pay attention! well done.
Great message and so masterfully written! The ending was excellent
This made me laugh but there is an important reminder buried in the humor. Excellent article. Thanks for sharing it
This was a very good read. I like your main character's "cool" voice. Like the message in your story as well. Very well done.
Awesome dude, awesome! I loved Lance's voice. I also found his arguments strangely familiar ... now that is what I call an allegory!

For what it's worth, I disagree with the nitpics ... I think the last sentence adds extra solemnity
to the piece, and masterfully underlines the seriousness of such a laissie-faire (sp?) attitude to ... life-saving.

So ... who will stand in the gap ...?
This is exactly why you are in Masters, Jan. Excellent writing, great story and even greater message. This one commands the reader to stop and think. My toes got a little stepped on this a good way. A contender, for sure!
Wow. This one is funny, and yet hits way too close to home in some places. I also think the last line is perfect and adds a lot to the story.
Sucked me right in and then got me right where it hurts. Ouch. Well done. :-) Loved the voice and the characterisation. Subtle yet clear. yeggy
Brilliant Jan! I love your serious message, doused in humor, without diluting anything.
Way rad, dude! Like, it totally rocked! You'll, like, land a gnarly score!
Very clever and very well done. And definitely 'ouch' material.
This was so much fun to read. "I am a handsome man..." Congrats on your win. Love it!
I reread this after I left my comment from memory. Jan, this was so excellent. A message that the church needs to read, delivered perfectly.