Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: SLANDER (09/07/17)
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TITLE: Bad Habits of a Twitter Novice | Previous Challenge Entry
By Loni Bowden-Horn
09/13/17 -
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Craning her neck to glance at the clock, she began to give up hope that she could complete the church bulletin by the 2:00 deadline.
In a flash, an epiphany popped in her head. It was such a simple idea but it liberated her. She would use the Word document on her cell phone to type up the church bulletin and tweet it out to the other parishioners.
Since it was such a small parish, they often communicated to one another electronically.
It must be a sign from God.
Being short on time, she decided to use the autocorrect feature on her keyboard. This would reduce the amount of time it would take to proofread the document.
Sister Mae tapped the send key at precisely
1:59 p.m.
“ Phew!” That was close.
*************
#Saint Whitewash Basilica
Announcements
A warn welcome is extended to those attending our service on Sunday, April 7th.
The sermon this morning is entitled, “The Truth About Hell,” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Three new choir robes are currently needed, due to the swell of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Join us this evening to hear: “How Much Can a Man Drink - Being Filled With the Spirit”?” with hymns from a full choir.
The massage begins at 6:00 sharp.
Afterwards, see the sisters cast off clothes of every kind down in the basement.
Come join us Wednesday for our annual chili potluck. We need people to cut the cheese for toppings. Musical harmonies to follow, featuring the “Break Forth Wind” band
Palm Sunday celebrations will be held at 2:00 p.m on the north and south sides of the building. Children will be baptised on both ends.
Next week for Easter Sunday, Bunny Rabet will lay an egg at the altar. We hope she doesn't crack under the pressure of being in front of so many people.. As Jesus says in Matthew 11:30, “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
*********.
Due to Father John’s illness, the Thursday night healing class will be discontinued until further notice.
Reminder: While the Reverend is on sabbatical, massages can be given to the sisters.
**********
Prayer Requests and Praise
Please pray for Louis Chardonnay, The x-rays showed his airway passages were congested. He needed to be hospitalized to drain the liquor that had built up in his lungs. He got a little tipsy-turvey after communion was taken. He’s expected to fully recovery after convalescencing a few weeks.
******
A spray of forget-me-not flowers was placed to alter the announcement of the birth of Judge Menaught Jr., the sin of one of our parishioners, Mr. and Mrs. Judge Menaught.
The baby’s spray is a blessing to his new parents. Let us lift up our voices in song, “Praise God and let all blessings flow.”
*******
Please keep in your thoughts and prayers the many who are sick and tired of our church and country.
*************
The next day, Sister Mae noticed her Twitter account had lit up like a firefly.
#Vile talk
What are u doing to me?
Members of your church come to the hospital and say, “ I didn’t know you were having problems with alcohol.” My visitors tell me that someone is spreading rumors at St Whitewash. Stop slandering my. good name!
@louischardonney
#StWhitewash
Monsieur Chardonnay,
I am not sure how these vicious rumors got started but I can assure you there must be some type of misunderstanding.
**********
Sister Mae stared absently at her hand, as she was mulling over her options of how to handle the influx of tweets she had received.
She recalled what she had overheard Father John saying to some of the other nuns:
How do you solve the problem of Sister Mae Day
Why doesn’t she find a ‘cloud and pin it down?’
Many a thing we’ve often tried to tell her.
Many a thing she ought to understand.
When she's on Twitter, she’s confused
Out of focus and bemused.
She never knows exactly where she is.
The language is unpredictable as weather.
The system flighty as a feather.
“Oh tweetle dee dee”, she sighed, “I’m already late for chapel.”
This will have to wait.
After all, “tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it."
**********
730 words - Fiction - used sources with actual bloopers to make story sound authentic.
Sources:
Proverbs 17:22 - 22 A cheerful heart is good medicine,but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.
Psalms 98:4 - Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth! Break forth into joyful songs of praise!
Rodger and Hammerstein lyrics - How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria - with creative editing
Quote from LM Montgomery, "Anne of Green Gables"
www.pastors.com
www.extremelysmart.com
www.christianmediamagazine.com
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