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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Weary (05/03/12)
The great Crea-ventor had just finished the schematics of his next invention. He smiled broadly as aray of sunshine glinted off his computer scree. He had out done himself this time. "This invention is superb!" he thought to himself. Not that the others weren't, of course, but according to their purpose each invention was different and detailed differently for diferent uses. This one, though, was a true work of art. Even the others around him that stopped by to admire his work could see that. They marvelsed at the skill he had and the dedication to this project that he had workded on for so long and that for years now had gone soemwhat unappreciated. So many inventions had already been lost and they had not even seen the light of day.

But he would never quit and never give up hoping that the next one would make it to fruition and realize all of its potential that he had carefully sketched within it. He had been committed to this task for centuries and he was determined to continue no matter the set backs he continually faced.

"Marvelous!" remarked a fellow who had stopped next to him.

"Yes," agreed the one standing next to him. "I can't wait to see this one working and performing as it is intended to do.I am sure that this time all of the other creations you have made will admire it too and be so glad you planned it this way and made it to perform in this manner."

An older gentleman standing on his right shook his head. You know they'll never apredciate this. They will throw it out in the trash just like all the others. Have you counted lately?"

"I know --54 million," sighed the Crea-ventor.

"An astronomical sum if you ask me," said the old man.

"But I have to try. This one could mean so much to them. It could change their lives in wonderful ways. They really need this one."

"THe are too defectie to realize it," said the old one. "They keep throwing away the best you send them. They will never appreciate what you have done here." He went away shaking his head sadly.

THe ohter two patted the Crea-ventor on the back,"You never know," they encouraged, "this one may get through. It may reach its full potential yet." But they had that fresh new hope of the young.

As they walked away the Crea-ventor put his head in his hands. Yes they had been rejecting a lot of his work of late. WHy did they not get it that they were his inventions and they should be happy to add a new and even better model to their ranks? It was for their benefit that he kept creating but they didn't get it. He was weary of all this trying and all this rejection. Maybe he should stop trying but then what would happen to the inventions he already had out there? In time they would all cease to exist. Without any to renew or replace the ranks of those that had falled into hopeless disrepair.

Weariness over came him as he stared at this masterpiece before him. Yes he could teel it was one of his best but he had to give it now into the hands of those imperfect, proud inventions that had come before and trust them to do
the right thing with it.

Some knew the right thing to do that was certain. Some could be entrusted with it but others? He didn't have the luxury of being htat selective; besides there was great potential in the more imperfect ones. It was his job to hand out these new inventions to whomever was next in line didn't matter if they were wise or foolish. Good or bad that was never the point. The inventions could seak--would speak for itsself once it was in ful working order. It didn't matter if it belonge din a family of uncaring foolish ones or a wise family. THis one would do what he had made it to do regardless of the circumstances they just had to give it a chance.

He rose with tears in his eye, a feeling of deep weariness weigfhin on his shoulders, and finger pised in the air he said word of hope and blessing and then he pressed SEnd

an aritcle on abortion
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This article has been read 807 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
05/11/12
Wow! This was truly a powerful and emotional and clever entry! I had to read it a two times to appreciate the full impact of the electryfing truth that jumped out of the screen into my heart!

Thank you for this insightful and brilliant piece. There were some "typos" but it didn't distract from this masterpiece. Thank you so much!

God Bless~
Marina Rojas
05/13/12
This was a delightful story, I really enjoyed every word of it.

But the typos and misspellings were just too distracting throughout the read for me.

Since you a master storyteller, I would encourage the use of a spell check before the completion of your entries.

And how wonderful are your words, this work of your hands!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
05/15/12
I think you have some great creative ideas here. The beginning grabbed my attention and I wanted to read more.

I did get a tad distracted by all of the typos like marvelsed, teel defectie, and the ending seemed like maybe part of it was missing. You may want to check the message boards for a critique group or a challenge buddy.

You did a nice job pulling the topic in on this one. I'm sure it would be weary to face rejection after rejection. This is something that many writers can identify with for sure.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
05/15/12
Okay, I apologize. I read it again and what I thought was a missed part of a sentence, I realized was what the story is really about is abortion. So I went back and read it this time and understood the things I had missed before. This is a clever take on a commonly written subject. I realize you wanted to have the reader experience a twist. It's the question of walking that fine line between people understanding it and feeding too much to the reader.If you polish up the errors and end with something like "Oh if only they would realize abortion decimates the species." or something like that I think this could be a riveting story that would take the reader by surprise. It is a brilliant bit of writing.
Hiram Claudio
05/17/12
Very creative and well written piece. And as mentioned, the main message catches the reader by surprise thus driving the point home even more. Nice work!