The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/19/12
Awww - I loved this. Sweet, adorable read. I especially loved the last line. Nice job. God Bless~
This is a well told story. Great job!
01/20/12
When I began reviewing the entries in this level, I did them in order. It strikes me that the article just before this one paints the picture of a mother who doesn't have a clue of how to be a good one. The MC's mother here is wonderful!

What a heart warming story. I appreciate how the mother really listened to the MC and spoke heart to heart and not just words. This was beautifully written. Nice work!
I love the way you set this story up, then presented the problem and the solution and drove your point home. Lovely.
01/21/12
I too found this a refreshing take on a wonderful mother following the description of a very cruel one. I love the wa she comforts her daughter at the end.
This is a beautiful story. I really liked how you touched con so many different forms of embarrassment. The girl is ashamed, the bully should be ashamed and it is an embarrassment, that we in society, allow bullies to bully.

Remember to capitalize Mom if it is being used as a substitute for a name.

You pulled it all together quite nicely in the end.

01/22/12
I can only echo that this was a beautiful and well written story. Bullies are often insecure themselves and have a need to make someone feel worse than they do, but it is hard to remember that when they hurt us. I love the mother’s wisdom in this story. Well done
01/25/12
Oh, the agonies of youth. I remember a young black boy bullying my baby daughter. I humilited my daughter by inviting him over to our house. We had just bought a refrigerator, and they spent hours playing in the box. Needless to say, he never bothered her again. Sometimes a gentle touch can break down a bully's bullying. This mother did a lovely job of loving her daughter out of her embarrassment. Hopefully that love reached her bully also.
01/26/12
Great, warm, healing dialogue. Well done.
Congratulations for ranking 7th in level three and 19th overall!