The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Grrr! (01/28/10)
No moon tonight, it’s black as soot;
I fear there’s mischief now afoot.
To flee the monster in my bed,
Quick!, through forest gloom I tread.

With no concern, I’d snuggled down,
Was drifting, dreaming, sleeping sound,
And then, a thump!, the stink of fur,
The gleam of teeth, a deep, rough “grrrr”.

Before my mouth could form a cry
Across the room my feet did fly
And through the open window sail,
Tearing my nightgown on a nail!

Stumbling, groping in the dark,
I feel my way by trees’ rough bark.
No looking back! My eyes might see
The unimaginable chasing me!

Damp tentacles of ghostly air
Brush soft against my tumbling hair.
A swish of grass, a snap of twig –
I think it’s following me – something BIG!

So now I run, barefoot and cold,
And hope I live to see this told…...

Strength is fading,

Heartbeat pounds,

Hot breath hits me,

Terror sounds...

GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

I flail, I fight, I fling my fist!
The monster grabs me by the wrist!
And then I hear, “Stop hitting, Sis!”

Grrrrrrr….

He hasn’t heard the end of this!
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 1186 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Philippa Geaney 
02/07/10
That is marvellous!!! Very clever.Lots of tension, lots of fun. I think it is going to do well.
c clemons
02/07/10
Not bad and you definitely got the grrr! in.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
02/07/10
Great twist, a pesky brother was the last thing I expected as a monster.
Ruth Brown
02/08/10
A perfect title. I admire poets, and you're really good.
Joan Campbell
02/09/10
I so enjoyed reading this poem. Your rythm has a fun, light feel and yet your word choice still creates tension - a great combination! Congrats on an excellent submission.
The Masked Truelovers
02/09/10
very good poetry rythem that kept the story moving with ease.
Mona Purvis
02/09/10
Perfect in so many ways. I love reading poetry, but so often it isn't all that interesting. This is such a well-told story in poetic splendor.
Hope to see it as a winner.

Mona
Carol Slider 
02/09/10
A fun poem with a great ending! Good job.
Loren T. Lowery
02/09/10
Simply captivating in its simplicity, Well, well done. Bravo!
Lyn Churchyard
02/09/10
The flow was great, making it the sort of poem you can read aloud with ease. I could see the trees and feel her panic as she runs. Something tells me her brother is indeed going to be very sorry.
Well done, I love this.
Scarlett Farr
02/09/10
Very visual and scary! Loved the twist at the end.
Brenda Shipman
02/10/10
What a fun poem! Terrific use of "grrr". I had a similar experience with my brother while in my teens, and have never let him forget it!
Brenda Shipman
02/11/10
Congratulations on your 1st Place win in Advanced and 3rd in Editor's Choice!! Well-deserved!! Yay!
Bryan Rudolph
02/11/10
Wow . . . my, what ride . . . my childhood fears, front and centre again, . . . and then that super sweet twist, at the end . . . grrrr . . . I wish for more!

Congratulations, Jackie, on your first place win; thank you for such an enjoyable read.

Bryan.
Mona Purvis
02/11/10
No question that this one belongs at top! Congrats!

Mona
Sarah Elisabeth
02/11/10
Congrats on your first place win!
Carol Slider 
02/12/10
Congratulations on your EC!! This is great fun to read!
Carol Penhorwood 
02/12/10
Impressive and certainly deserving of your placement!

Have you checked out the Challenge Forums?
Charla Diehl
02/13/10
This poem has all the right elements to keep the reader reading with interest. Congratulations on both wins/placements. Loved the surprise ending.
Sharlyn Guthrie
02/16/10
Fun poem! Congratulations on your EC!
Lisa Johnson
02/23/10
Very nicely done. I can easily tell how this poem did so well in both level and editor's choice. Congrats.
Thyanks by te way for your kind words about my "Phew!" entry.