The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/29/09
the grass is always greener on the other side if we are able to share it with the ones we love. nice story.
I realy liked it! I just knew Alabama was going to be in there. My family moved up here from Alabama in the 1950's so my dad could work in the mill. They all moved back, but not me. I still live here in Indiana.

Once again,
nice job!

May God bless and keep you writing!

Sincerely,
Dan Blankenship
10/29/09
Powerful piece. Keep up the good work.
I smiled when I saw my home state mentioned! Alabama the beautiful :)
Really makes you think, Sometimes to get what you want you will loose something more valuable along the way. Loved it.
Believable dialogue, good simple message, and great take on the color green. Nice job!
10/30/09
Emotionally packed story as the MC's dream to escape the ghetto is only realized through tragedy. Believeable writing.
10/31/09
it's not easy to make something longed for into something unwanted. you did a good job.
11/05/09
A good story but not really the correct take on "the grass is greener on the other side" I understood what you meant however. A little work here and there for flow and the story will work perfectly.