I Had Hoped... | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: I Had Hoped... | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jana Kelley
06/10/09
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I had hoped things would work out better: that colleagues would be more faithful, that leaders would be more effectual, that life would eventually get easier and that day to day living wouldn’t be so arduous!

I had hoped to freely live out my vision, my dreams: that conflict would be resolved; that others would share my convictions; that a life of ministry wouldn’t be so perplexing and that living out my faith wouldn’t be so demanding!

So I prayed for change…and waited…and prayed…

I felt so empty: nothing changed.
I prayed and I waited, but all was the same.

Then, I realized that life is just like that: that wavering colleagues challenge me to be resolute, that fallible leaders stimulate me to strive for excellence, that sometimes life gets harder each day that I grow deeper in the Lord!

Then, I remembered that I should commit my vision and dreams to the Lord: because conflicts will arise as long as I am around other people, because others won’t always agree with me and that will challenge me to broaden my perspective, because a life of ministry is very messy, because living out my faith is down right hard!

The very agitations that seemingly hinder me are, in reality, the catalysts that work to mature me.

I feel so full, though nothing has changed.
I still pray, I still wait, but I’m no longer the same.

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