Coral's Rest | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Coral's Rest | Previous Challenge Entry
By Karen Jimmy
06/08/06
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I’d never met my mother, Coral, before, nor this woman standing beside me who apparently was my sister. But, here we were, together after 20-odd years, looking for the first time at our mother’s grave.

The queerest combination of emotions assaulted me, one after the other, like waves. All my life I’d wanted to search out my mother and tell her that, for my part at least, everything was alright, and I was glad she gave me away. I had a good life, with a good family, and I knew she did what was best for me. Now the reality struck me in the face, that I would never get that chance. Suddenly everything wasn’t alright anymore.

The plaque on her place of rest didn’t say much. Just her name, the dates marking the years she lived and the words “At Peace.” But was she?

Emotions running haywire now, I had to get out of there. I didn’t want to risk disgracing myself in front of this sister I was just getting acquainted with. I couldn’t stand being rejected by her as well.

Pulling myself together as best I could, we got in the car and drove back to her place in silence. But my head wasn’t silent. Question after question screamed at me.

“How could she be ‘at peace’ when I know the tragic story of her life? How could she be ‘at peace’ when we all know how she died?”

A few years down the track now, and though I will always have doubts and questions about the state my mother is in, I certainly have more personal peace. Once the initial shock of discovering she had died wore off, I did the only thing I knew to do. Piece by piece, question by question I laid all the confusion in the lap of my heavenly Father. And piece by piece, he put back together the mess that had become my life when confusion reigned in my thoughts.

The parents who lovingly raised me taught me that God is our only sure foundation, and that true peace can only be found in Him. It is to my mother’s credit that I have, through them, learned where to find this one Rock I can stand on. And it’s on that foundation that I hope she also rests, “at peace”.

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