The Official Writing Challenge
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Oh, my! This is so beautiful!

I liked the parallels you drew between the father's shame of his outer vulnerability and the daughter's shame of her inner vulnerability. Those kind of parallels make this piece more powerful.

Watch your use of -ly adverbs; can you remove some without losing the meaning, or can a more powerful verb be chosen that would give that same meaning?

That ending line was perfect: "the best sermon you've ever preached." I wouldn't be surprised to see this in the top 40.
06/02/06
Very good! Your ending says it all:)
06/02/06
One of the best yet. I'm awed and inspired. How many stories have I read where "purpose" is measured in human love and tasks, but you nailed this one. You earned a Davy for this one.
LOVED IT! Made me want to cry. Beautiful.
06/07/06
Wow! That's all . . . just WOW!
Congratulations, Theresa! It only makes sense that someone with your powerful testimony and pure heart would be given one of His golden pens! Tender, moving, eternal awe.
Tears are blurring my vision...Congrats!

I agree about the Golden Pen.

Blessings!
Trina
06/08/06
You did a great job with this, and while you said one main thing, you never waffled or went off your point, rather you painted the mental picture of a daughter's pain and a father's desire.
06/08/06
This is wonderful...thank you for sharing and congratulations on your win!