The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Like the twist and turns, kept me reading. Good ending.
What I like most about this story is the realistic evokes a time and place that I can easily visualize. And I really didn't anticipate the ending. Very, very nicely done.
Dub, I agree with your analysis that the pace / structure could have been smoothed a bit. But the plot, the characters, the dialogue were right there. So, as usual, you are too hard on yourself! What greater purpose than to sacrafice for an "enemy" ... great lesson.
I really like your writing. It's so easy to read, so unresistable. I can't help but be drawn into your story and it's impossible to not care about your characters, who are as realistic as they come.
It took me a little bit to get into the story, but then I started following better, and it hooked me. Great ending!
I like the story. It has good characters and dialogue.
I loved the way you allowed the dialog to paint the scene and draw the reader in. Eddie and his father never knew I was at the table. I could see this as a much longer piece. Very nice indeed.
I loved it. It reminded me of my cousins in West Virginia. The own a hollar and everyone talks like this.
Great story, Dub! I also loved the twist at the end. This one would have scored high with me (if I were judging :-)). Very well done!
Blessings, Lynda
Good job at capturing dialogue realistically; it took me some time to get into the actual story but it was good in the end. :-)
You're a storyteller! Always love your scenarios; they're often unusual or unique. You have a talent for smooth flowing dialog. Great job. :) Jo
Your hint mentioned errors...which I took note of; however, your story knocked them completely out of the picture! Great job and a super finish!
This story moves well. I would, however, like to see this story move on, go beyond 750 words. It feels like there is more to tell, more forgiveness, more healing, more salvation, I think.
I enjoyed reading your story Dub. Your dialogue is just fantastic !