The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1143 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
05/11/06
I liked this author's expression of hope - a nice way of defining it, and a lovely story to boot.
Fabulous!!!! I loved this story. You wrote amazing. Honestly, I thought the first portion of the story was written better than the last half. There were a few sentance that seemed wrong (jumping into different tenses etc..) You have a very strong and urgent message. I would love to see this story in another version of Carrie as the child defeating her "beast." WOW. You did a great job! Be proud!
05/12/06
Love this - epecially the title and the last line. I agree that the first section in school was particularly strong. Great message.
05/12/06
Excellent example of a writer 'showing' not 'telling' well done. I really felt for young Carrie. You drew me into the story with consummate skill but some of that engaging energy was lost in the second half. Yeggy
05/13/06
What a lovely and touching story with a practical definition of hope. What a great reminder to us all.
05/13/06
I agree with everyone else, both about how it is a great story, and about how it loses some momentum in the last part. I think, though, that the main reason that happens is the changing of tenses and POV suddenly. Those are both easily fixable and then I think it continues to build right to the end. The whole "internal beast" concept has rarely, in my experience, been pulled off better.
05/15/06
A fantastic message of hope. Great job.
This is a good message and well written. It can be a challenge changing POV but I thought it was all well done.
05/16/06
Beth, this is extremely good writing. I LOVE your closing definition of waiting in Hope. It has encouraged me greatly! Thank you.
05/16/06
Beautiful!! Simply beautiful!!
05/16/06
I agree that the beginning was very strong, but you kind of lost me towards the end. I liked your description of Jessica's hair...very picturesque.
05/17/06
Excellent message of hope. I agree with the other reviewers about the strength of the first part.