The Official Writing Challenge
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I liked this author's expression of hope - a nice way of defining it, and a lovely story to boot.
Fabulous!!!! I loved this story. You wrote amazing. Honestly, I thought the first portion of the story was written better than the last half. There were a few sentance that seemed wrong (jumping into different tenses etc..) You have a very strong and urgent message. I would love to see this story in another version of Carrie as the child defeating her "beast." WOW. You did a great job! Be proud!
Love this - epecially the title and the last line. I agree that the first section in school was particularly strong. Great message.
Excellent example of a writer 'showing' not 'telling' well done. I really felt for young Carrie. You drew me into the story with consummate skill but some of that engaging energy was lost in the second half. Yeggy
What a lovely and touching story with a practical definition of hope. What a great reminder to us all.
I agree with everyone else, both about how it is a great story, and about how it loses some momentum in the last part. I think, though, that the main reason that happens is the changing of tenses and POV suddenly. Those are both easily fixable and then I think it continues to build right to the end. The whole "internal beast" concept has rarely, in my experience, been pulled off better.
A fantastic message of hope. Great job.
This is a good message and well written. It can be a challenge changing POV but I thought it was all well done.
Beth, this is extremely good writing. I LOVE your closing definition of waiting in Hope. It has encouraged me greatly! Thank you.
Beautiful!! Simply beautiful!!
I agree that the beginning was very strong, but you kind of lost me towards the end. I liked your description of Jessica's hair...very picturesque.
Excellent message of hope. I agree with the other reviewers about the strength of the first part.