The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/21/06
Touching and well written. Thank you.
02/22/06
You captured this mother's pain with your words and showed us the only One who can ease such pain. Thank you
Kate~
02/22/06
Absolutely wonderful...I love the way the storm mirrored Jenny's emotions. Beautifully written, by a skillful wordsmith.
02/22/06
This is a beautifully written journey through grief. The storm adds such great dimension to her feelings. Yet you allowed her to find hope and peace. Wonderful!
02/22/06
Simple amazing. I read this as both of my babies were sleeping, one on my lap. You almost had me crying.
You are an excellent writer. So many emotions tied-up in this piece. Good job.
02/23/06
I grieved with this mother, and felt her comfort too. The realistic emotion of this piece makes it ideal for ministry.
02/23/06
Very powerful piece. I was moved. Thanks for sharing.
02/23/06
I was truly touched by this article. I felt the mother's pain. I was relieved when she accepted the fact that her son was now safe and she would find peace.
02/23/06
You did a wonderful job on this. Lots of neat phrases. I love the line about the rocking chair thumping like the beat of his little heart AND the sympathetic spray of rain. Great.
Wonderful poetic imagery in this heart rending piece. The shaft of light on the baby's picture towards the end is great. Skillfully woven story!
Your beginning paragraph was ominously descriptive; good opening! You have pretty well captured many of the feelings of a newly bereaved mother. In my own grief journey several years ago I found a degree of peace in coming to the realization that your main character did: '“Oh, God, is this how you felt when your Son died?” Jenny sobbed. “How did you bear the pain?”' The storm does, indeed, add much to the intensity of Jenny's emotions and to the scene in general.
Sometimes it takes months or even years to come to this point: '“Very well, into your hands I commend his precious spirit.”' A very good job!
02/23/06
A beautiful story!
02/23/06
It is so difficult to take such an intense situation, convey the pain sufficiently to the reader and then bring it to a realistic conclusion without rushing through and glossing over. But you did it! Congratulations!
02/23/06
You stirred up a lot of emotions with this piece. I loved the description and had to fight hard from crying. well done!
02/23/06
Amazing--I was near tears by the end!
02/24/06
Kenn, you're a top notch writer, no doubt about it. Every week you display excellence! This is no exception. So, allow me to pick a little bit more closely with you. I thik you had a touch of alliteration troubles... using "dream" too often, the word breast twice in near successive centences, things lik that. Also, I personally would have left the ending unspoken ... don't explain what she realized.. .write it in a way where we came to the same conclusion. But, none of that takes away from the emotion you stirred in this obvious winner. Great job!
As others have already said, a moving and powerful piece that was well-written. Great job!
02/27/06
The parallels of the physical weather and the emotional turmoil here was really good ... in fact, the whole piece is EXCELLENT - well done!