The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
An excellent picture/explanation of the Gospel message. I think it would have been more powerful without the last paragraph, though. The flow of the story was good, and you held my attention.
Yes! Wonderful! Excellent! Great, great creative writing!
A riveting article. I certainly wanted to know the end. Very creative.
This is my kind of story! As each element unfolded I found myself thinking, "I should've seen that comin'" ... but I didn't. Wonderfully told AND written.
What a wonderful idea! How I admire people who come up with these creative, novel approaches!

I agree with the comments about the ending, and I'd go ever further, and end it with "Free." That's your maximum impact. Great job!
Your story is beautiful and creative. I kind of stumbled through the first paragraphs a little bit, so you might take a look at them. Otherwise, I believe this article should be submitted for publication. I especially loved this:

“How much?” I whispered, my fingers fumbling with the clasp on my wallet.

“Not for sale,” she declared, removing my tear-encapsulated portrait from the wall. Pressing the treasure into my hands, she said, “Free.”

You are a gifted writer. Keep up the good work.

Great concept. I liked the plotline and concept. The opening was a touch slow but it ended with a knock out. Good!
Good job! I agree with the comments on the beginning and last paragraphs. This kept my attention, wonderfully creative and unique.
This is well written an dhas a creative plot. Good job.
Wow! What a God we serve? Now, having said that, I might consider switching the last two paragraghs. Your article inspires me to continue to write. Thanks for your inspiration.