The Official Writing Challenge
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If God is the one having the final word here, I doubt that He would be as vindictive as your ending makes Him sound. Other than that, your approach to the subject is very interesting and well presented.
Okay, I agree about the end, but... I love your writing. I could really see your characters. Loved the metal cow, the dog and the rest. Funny voice too. Great!
Wow, that certainly kept my attention all the way through. Well done!
You again have the wonderful skill that puts your reader 'right there'! Yes, the ending works for me -- uncomfortably well! Bravo!
You put us right in the action--I wanted to duck! Great writing here!
Oooo, excellent ending, in my opinion. Too bad he only found out then Who was in control. Great writing!
I don't normally read stories about any war except the Civil War, but this was so good, I read it out loud to my husband. You developed these characters so well. The only thing unanswered for me was whether he received the answers when he saw the Lord in Heaven or was he in a hospital? It seems from the last paragraph that all perished in the explosion. Maybe I'm just dense. You have definitely crafted a great story here.
I like this story. I just a slight problem with the ending. I am taking it that he survived since he was told later what he said, but that part doesn't quite fit. Was he "saying" all this out loud to someone before they were hit? However, you described each of your characters in a very vivid and believable way. Who is in control now? The answer to that question was not made clear enough to the reader. All things considered though, it was a good story.
Excellent drama and character development...breathtaking! Quite the punchline ending, too. Very well crafted!!!