The Official Writing Challenge
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Wonderfully written. I was captured from beginning to end - but oh such a sad story. Perhaps if we filled that distance between the "us" and those who don't quite "fit" our well-taylored and ordered lives, such realities wouldn't be quite as common as they are. Thanks for the reminder.
This reminds me of the verse that informs us our righteousness is as filthy rags - leperous rags.

No matter how many times we are reminded of this truth you wrote about, it still is most difficult to do.

You put us there - in each emotion. I can't say I enjoyed it but maybe that means it was good.
Wonderfully written. What an impact! I too am reminded of the frivolous and sometimes harmful works we do that rise and assault the nostrils of our Father. Thank you for this very visceral reminder of our Christian duties.
I hope you took the afore mentioned comments as a compliment! :) It was good, (much better than good, therefore I didn't like it? Sound better?
I had to laugh at "a man who obviously thought hygiene was just a greeting". Just enough light touches to keep this from being too sad. A well written story!
Oh, how sad! And written with a deft touch--just wonderful. There are a few paragraphing issues, but the piece itself is marvelous.
Outstanding work. I'm especially impressed by the way you bring your characters to life through dialogue.
Ah, an ending that is a wonderful beginning. Reminds me of salvation. And the resurrection of a writer we have missed. :-)
A lot of good lines in there. Very good presentation and, of course, your style is great. Good work!