The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/24/21
Megawatt on the go again!
Thank you for some insight into the Islamic belief, and about Taqiyya. Keep writing.
I enjoyed your story. You have a great foundation for sure. Instead of just telling the reader what is happening, paint a picture using dialog, body language, and thoughts. You had the first 4 paragraphs as backstory. But try pulling the reader in right away by showing the conflict and building the suspense and then sprinkle the backstory throughout if needed. You have a fantastic foundation and a creative fun idea. With some minor tweaking, you could turn this good story into a great one.
04/28/21
What a fun read. I love super heroes and I lament how dark they have become. Keep writing.