The Official Writing Challenge
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Perfect title for this piece!
09/04/20
A lot of truth there. Suggest a Quote before "My" in seventh paragraph.
I really enjoyed this piece. It's such an important topic, not just for teens, but really for all ages. I liked that she could see the blessings even though life is hard. She has a lot of wisdom. I think you did an awesome job starting with the conflict right away. It pulled me in. The ending was great resolution, yet didn't come off as too preachy.

My only red ink is the dialog. You didn't totally miss it, but teens tend to speak in incomplete sentences, roll their eyes, sigh, and put hands on hips while using slang too. For example I might suggest an edit like this: "Muuuuuummmm! Where's my pink sweater?" Her eyes bulged out and her throat felt scratchy from yelling. And, later...
"Yuck!" She gagged and slammed the glass on the table. "Who spiked the punch?" She crossed her arms and glared at her date. "My parents're drunks! This crap reeks and makes me wanna puke. Home. Now!" She clenched her arms around her waist as tears pooled in her eyes.
That's not perfect at all, but I hope my quick example shows you another way that might sound more realistic to some.
You've a great start, but you just have some extra words. Saying spiked is enough. You don't need to say spiked with some kind of whiskey. She's mad so her sentences are going to be short and snappy. You've some great word choices and are doing an excellent job of mixing body language to paint a picture for the reader. You've a clear message too and I enjoyed it from beginning to end. I think you nailed the topic in a fun, interesting, and relevant way too.