The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
I like your story. However, the shift of point of view took away from the story. It begins with "You", but then shifts to I/we. For me, it would be better to stick with first person "I."

I do like the way you set the scene of the floor mats. Without saying it, you let the reader know the general age of the child. That was well done!
06/06/20
Excellent! Loved this story!
06/08/20
I found the point of view a little awkward, but a story with a great message.
I enjoyed the story.Thank you.