The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
Interesting story. I realize it was eventually a learning point for the son, but he should have been forced to deal with the consequences of his actions.
02/06/20
This is a beautiful story of a father's unconditional love. It has great potential. It would pack more punch if the writer would take it out of passive verbs and make them active. Also in my opinion, if written in the first person. Way more showing and less recounting the incident would grab the reader even more, hold their attention and make the intended lesson more lasting. Thanks for sharing!