The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I liked the beginning of this story, but I don't understand about the repeating of the last 4 paragraphs. Unless maybe, they are all named Pasquale?
I had a hard time figuring out whose point of view the story is being told in. Is it the captain's voice?

I think I needed a little more transition into the storytelling rounds at the end. I didn't understand the repetition of the same line.

Your tale captured my attention in the beginning.

I was immediately drawn in after reading "Abandon ship!" because I knew some trouble was brewing. I think the first Mate was telling the story about the captain and the crew. I thought the first repeated sentence was a typo, but when I read it a third time I figured it was intentional, but I didn't get the point. Nevertheless, it was an interesting tale.
This story was intriguing to me. You drew me in with "Abandon Ship."

I looked up childhood rounds after reading your story. There were several types of rounds.

I believe one was "Ring Around the Rosie" which is about the plague.

I was interested in finding out how these rounds related to your story.

Was it a way to help the pirates pass the time away while they were shipwrecked or was there another reason.

Thank you for sharing.
I enjoyed reading the story but I was puzzled by the rounds connection to the story as well.
I liked the beginning of the story, especially that you jump right into the action. I also like the repetitive round, but don't understand how it relates to the story. An interesting and creative idea though! Just a little more information I think!

Congratulations on your Highly commended in the Advanced Division.