The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/06/19
Sweet story. I would encourage you to have someone proof read for you or use an online editing tool. Keep up the good work.
12/06/19
This sounds like it would be a fun full length novel. Good job introducing your main character.

Red Ink: Aim to stick with one point of view. While the first two paragraphs seem to be from the mom or dad's POV, the third paragraph switches to Simone's.
She sounds like quite a character! Her story would make a great novel.
12/07/19
I like how you compared the girls ambitions to those of Peter. Nice story. Blessings!