The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Heart-wrenching story, but good reminder of how we must forgive.
Excellent writing, well written, and a powerfully important message at the close.

I enjoyed this sobering story. You kept my attention and ended with a fitting scriptural challenge to yield our grudges. Well done.
Your story reminded me of an older movie-"August Rush." I was thinking the kids were going to be taught to be criminals. This is very realistic and could be a true scenario. Well done!
This is such a powerful story. You did a great job of showing the conflicts and building the suspense. I wasn't sure how you'd work in the topic, but you did a good job. My only advice is many experts say to write out numbers to a hundred, but almost all agree to write them out to at least ten. Next time, you might want to introduce the setting (especially the timeline a bit sooner). You did a nice job of showing it with your details, but I'd like to see it a bit sooner. Your message is a powerful one, and one we all can relate to. Congratulations on ranking 2nd in your level and 13 overall. Happy Dance!