Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: QUESTION (S) (05/30/19)
- TITLE: Lament
By Joanney Uthe
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First of all, it just isn’t fair! Georgina buys a winning lottery ticket? I do my best to follow Your rules, to look to You for direction in my life, and rely on You for my needs, yet struggle to pay the mortgage working two jobs. And my unbelieving co-worker who does drugs and other illegal things wins ten thousand dollars on a lottery ticket? Why does she deserve it and not me? Not that I buy lottery tickets, but still.
And today my car breaks down! On the freeway. During rush hour. You know my savings were drained from replacing the furnace in the house last month. And now my car breaks down? How am I supposed to pay for that? I try to be a good steward of what You have given me and not use credit cards, but I may need to if the problem with the car is expensive.
Lord, I feel like when it rains it pours. You promised Noah that You would never again flood the earth, so why are You flooding my life to the point where I feel like I am drowning? As I waited for the tow truck, the doctor’s office called to say my son has cancer! That is just too much. We knew something was wrong and prayed for answers, but cancer? Why, Lord? Why cancer? Why Liam? It just doesn’t make sense. He’s the one who likes healthy foods. If you had to let one of us get cancer, why couldn’t it be me instead of Liam?
And how will I make ends meet if I am taking him to appointments constantly? Will I have to quit my part-time job? Take off more time than I have PTO at my full-time job? Where will the money come from to pay the bills, let alone expenses related to his appointments? I am just one person, a single mom trying to make a go at life and follow You, but I’m drowning here.
Yet, it is well with my soul, regardless of my circumstances. I love that song, Lord. It has helped me through so many difficult times by pointing me back to You. I know that You have not abandoned me. You have always provided for my needs, without lottery tickets. I cannot count the times You have provided through unexpected bonuses at work, lower utility bills than budgeted, or friends giving me exactly what I needed, when I hadn’t even told them I needed it. And the anonymous gift given through the pastor last year that paid a month’s mortgage when I missed so much work for surgery! That was an amazing blessing that only You could have orchestrated.
I am so thankful for the car that You have given me. Thank You for a reliable vehicle, even if it is in the shop right now. It has been a blessing to have something that isn’t falling apart and in the shop more often than on the road. What a blessing it was to have a cop pull up almost immediately after I broke down. I believe, Lord, that You put him behind me at that time on the freeway. That is so like You, to care about such little details in my life, even before I know I need it.
Lord Jesus, I know that You will walk through this cancer journey with us. I put Liam in Your hands. You are the Great Physician and can heal him. Whether You choose to do so by miracle, medicine, or even by giving him a new body in death, I will trust You in this journey. Of course, I would prefer the miracle and hope for healing by medicine, but, Lord, You know what is best. Help me to accept each difficulty and to keep trusting You in this journey.
God, You are so good. How could I ever question Your love and care for me? I only need to look at all You have done in my life.
Author’s Note: This is fiction, although the author has experienced almost everything mentioned, only not all at the same time.
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