Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW (05/02/19)
TITLE: Stand By Me
By Karlene Jacobsen
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There it was. The slightest movement of her shoulders. “Honey, is there anything I can do?”
Her boyfriend probably broke her heart. I never trusted him. Stepping closer to her bed, I hope she will allow me into her heart again. I pray.
“I’m fine.” She presses her face into her pillows. I hope she doesn’t suffocate. Of course, she’s a young adult. Twenty. She doesn’t need me to protect her from pillows any longer. Right? But I want to. I want to make this ache go away for her. Whatever it is.
I edge my way to the foot of her bed. She hasn’t expelled me, so maybe . . . who am I kidding? I don’t want to leave. I want her to know I am here for her, regardless of any disagreements we might have. I long to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her. I will always be her mom. She will forever be my precious daughter.
“Honey, I love you. If you need anything, even just an ear to bend, I’m here. Okay?”
I peer around her covers to see whether she’s going to respond. My heart sinks as she lies still. Unwilling to invite me in.
It hasn’t always been like this. She’d once enjoyed spending Sundays with her father and me. We would go to church then lunch, and eventually make our way back to the house for a BBQ. She had planned to go to Bible college and study for missions’ work. She’d said she believed she should get involved in caring for underprivileged children in the inner city. Conversation was always filled with God’s plans for us and for mankind.
I noticed her moods changing since going out with that boy. She started questioning everything. Our faith. The truth of Scripture. The reality of the Cross and Jesus’ resurrection. She quit college and came home—pregnant.
So here I am. An expectant grandma, praying for my daughter’s life to return to the joy she once knew in Jesus. Praying she would allow me back into her heart. Praying she would forgive me for anything I missed in her upbringing. Did I forget to sow something vital into her heart that would keep her connected to the Father?
“If you want to talk, I’m here for you. Anytime.” I swipe a tear from my cheek as I turn to leave the room. I will continue to fight for her as I pray.
I reach the door when I hear blankets shift.
“Mom?” Her voice sounds choked. “Would you stay with me?”
I can’t describe to you the emotional rollercoaster that I am on. I turn and go to her bed and sit on the side. My throat is so constricted, I wonder if I can choke out the words, “I’ll stay as long as you want.”
She throws her arms around my neck. “I’m sorry, Mom. Please forgive me.”
“Of course, Honey.” I wrap my arms around her and hold tight. I can’t let her go. She’s sobbing uncontrollably, now. Questions are forming faster than I can make my tongue work.
Before I can form one word, she pulls away, leaving an icy draft between us. “I have been so terrible to you and Dad.” Her voice is thick with emotion. “And all you’ve done is stand by me.” She reached around her pillows and pulled out a book. My journal. How did she . . .?
“I was looking for my birth certificate.” It was all the explanation I needed. I had tucked it away in the same drawer, not expecting anyone to need those documents, unless . . . shock must have registered on my face because she grinned. “I need the papers for insurance.” Shaking her head. “But that’s not important.” She opened the book to my last entry.
Lord, help me to love my daughter well today. Help her know she’s loved even if she never speaks to me again. Cause the seeds You’ve planted to grow in her soul.
2 Thessalonians 3:13
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