The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
What a scary nightmare! Glad it was that and not the battlefield.
This story shows imagination. I liked the mom comforting her young son at the end.

One thing struggle with in my writing is telling instead of showing.

This example may give you an idea of what I mean

Current story:
It was a stormy night.
The wind was howling through the trees.
No shelter in sight for the boy.
Oh how he wished for calm.
But to no avail all he could do


Clouds darkened the sky and a burst of cold air seeped through the young boys light jacket and made him shiver.

Vivid images can put a picture in your mind without telling the reader how to fell.

You have a great gift as a storyteller.

I liked your phrase 'bullets churned yhe ground'. I could picture puff of dust and bits of sand being flyng into the air as the bullet hit the ground. Great that it was only a nightmare - but I was curious as to what would have happened next in the boy's drama...
Oh my gosh...I was on the edge of my seat with this read, thankful for the way it ended.
Good job,
This is an interesting poem. I sense it has more than one meaning and more than one answer to the conflict. Goid job.