The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I really enjoyed this message. It touched my heart. God knows what we need way better than we can ever imagine.
The opening could use a bit of tightening. For example, I might suggest an edit like this: Looking out at the plaza, I could feel disappointment wash over the missions team. Shaking my head in disbelief, I stared as the rain pelted the area where we had planned to hold our large crusade.
That isn't perfect but I hope it shows you what I mean by tightening it up some. I also used I instead if we to showcase what the MC might be feeling. If you look at that first paragraph, you might be surprised by how many times you used the words day and weather. By trimming some of that, it will help the flow more. I did like how you introduced the conflict right away. That held my interest, and I was eager to see what would happen next. The message is a clear powerful one that we all need to hear now and then. You did a great job of writing on topic too.
Good job writing on topic. I like to keep a thesaurus near me, so that I don't repeat the same words in my entry. It's fun to try different words.
I love how God shows up in what we perceive to be a disaster. It just goes to show that He is always in charge and knows what He's doing. :) Well done.
Always heartwarming to hear how God changes lives - not only the 'unsaved' but the missionaries and believers as well. The manifest presence of God is just awesome - great to read your story.
Wow! Powerfully engaging and uplifting entry.
Thank you!