The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/12/19
This was a poignant and very touching account,of a lovely family, their values, and the message of God and His Word. Plus a heartwarming glimpse of Mr. Bill's love of his life, and the reality of Alzheimer's which has touched many people.

Excellent job with the topic, and thank you for sharing.

Blessings~
Such a poignant story. Well done!
04/15/19
The title caught my attention, since it's one of my passions.

The word "poignant" has been used twice before, but I can't refrain from repeating it.
A good, simple, heat-warming story well told.

Areas of improvement?
A few words lost me a little e.g. "Loses". Did you mean "losses"? Good to get someone to read it through before posting.
This is a great story with a positive message. You started off with some great showing, which paints a picture. However, to be honest, I'm not sure this was needed to move the story forward. I'd have loved to see more dialog and body language like you used in the beginning, later in the story. You did pack a lot of information in only 750 words. The ending is really beautiful and quite powerful. You did a nice job of delivering a clear powerful message.