The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
I enjoyed your stories, but felt there were two stories. I felt like I needed more resolution at the end. Keep writing.
12/16/18
Yes, I too felt there were two stories happening here, and was interested to see the first story developed more about the husband and the wife's brokenness over his injury. You write very well. Thank you.
12/19/18
Your dialogue is wonderful, so natural and believable. Great beginning to this story and I loved the sweet savor part of the story. For me, the pregnancy didn't work. One too many elements and it raised questions rather than competed the story. Don't give up on this one. Make it work! I can smell the peach juice!