The Official Writing Challenge
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Nice idea for a story - you might have used less breaks between scenes and filled in with description or dialogue.
Fast-paced, creative writing with a good message.
The quick "scene changes" make this seem almost like a slide show--an interesting effect, but I like it. I've had to think quite a bit about the likelihood of spending that much time in heaven before coming back "home." Still thinking...Great writing skills, without a doubt.
Fast paced and exciting. I enjoyed reading this. Great writing!
My brain is working overtime here. I kept looking for a message or the subject matter of "start". First, there was the fall (The emergency aspect) which grabs the Reader; Then the suspense of a "touch & go" situation; (which keeps the Reader); a dream of heavenly beings (which is the religious angle) and a happy ending (which makes the Reader happy) when Misty begins to recover. Ah! There's the "Start" I was looking for! She starts to re-coup! Thanks for sharing.
The beginning of a long, long journey for anyone so physically mangled. Great description. Strong sense of place.
Very good detail - could have been on one of those hospital shows :) Good details from her perspective also. :)
Great opening paragraph! I enjoyed the quick pace and seeing from the patient's view point. Well done and creative idea for start. Good job with this one!
This had a lot of great elements. I certainly kept reading throughout. The suspense was good and I wanted to keep reading to get the direction / conclusion down. The only thing I didn't like here was the "Two weeks later" and "A few days later" type lines. In my mnd they detract a bit from the flow. But, overall strong writing.