The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/13/18
Powerful truths in this poetic perfection.

Blessings~
I absolutely love the rhythm of your poem. It has the nicest beat to it. The message is also clear and encouraging...pure gospel! There are a couple of areas I thought needed correction, and even though I am going to lovingly correct what I see that might need correction, it in NO WAY takes away from the blessing conveyed by this beautiful poem.

I WONDER ‘round the world
I’m deep in mortal sin.
I didn’t know this God
nor the Heaven He’s in.

I do not have a clue
on how to find this God.
I didn’t know how to pray
It SEEN so very odd.

I believe that the word "wondered" or "wandered" would be a better word choice because you used past tense in the word "didn't". They should match. Also the word "seen" should perhaps be replaced with "seemed." (Agree?)

A couple of little issues, but otherwise such a very pure message. Thank you!