The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/18/18
Your account of what Jesus did for us is good.
I think sharing more of what you are or were going through would help us relate to how you came though knowing that Jesus went through the same or more for you and understands.
I am fairly new at this myself, and story telling is not easy for me.
Just a thought but it was well written
05/19/18
I agree with Judy. This is a worthwhile piece that just needs some help from you so the reader sees the personal connection between you and Jesus' executioners. It could use a bridge between the story of the crucifixion and your prayer. This is worth refining.
You did a great job! Your love for the LORD and your longing desire to please Him truly leak between every line, especially at the ending. Good usage of alliteration in places, too. Swell job!